The Smack Down

There are all types of smacks, none of which I would recommend - and lately I've noticed them more than usual - I have decided to create names for them:

Flurry Attack

Dash or Dom?

Our middle son gets a tad bit defensive as he defends his turf - protecting his space, be it his bed, a toy, or the book he is reading. His space gets imposed upon by both older and now younger siblings and he lays the smack down going in for a quick direct flurry attack, reminiscent of that kid from The Incredibles. His brothers are the bookends and sometimes he needs to open them up a bit and make some more room.

We extinguish these scuffles as soon as possible and like a hockey fight, often the second one to throw the smack is caught. Then we try not to throw that one exclusively into the penalty box but ask them what is going on. Three sides to the story.

Poke and Run
Another smack I've notice lately is the poke and run. I noticed this smack was used in the corporate world recently and consider it to be a rather cowardly act. In this case, some truly minor issue occurs, which creates repercussions (the poke) and it goes straight to a manager (the run).

This smack can be quite useful in that climb to the top of the nasty heap. Especially as the corporate world gets bigger and more wide open and spread apart. It often happens via e-mail, perhaps as a result of some type of miscommunication. It is so easy to mess e-mail up and get defensive with it. The main trouble is that this often turns into a cruel game of telephone so that any message gets lost in translation between parties and the details become awash. How much time was just wasted figuring out this ridiculous issue? Thus the poke and run is all about someone far off creating a stir and then leaving others in the dust... quite cowardly.

The Direct Jab
This smack may cause the most immediate pain, but really doesn't last too long... Imagine picking up your youngest child who is just lengthy enough that when you swing them a bit - they kick you right in the general local of the frank and beans. Or perhaps your child runs up to give a hug after a long day of work and they are just tall enough that their head slams square into your junk.

Perhaps you're on the floor wrestling a bit and one hits you right on the nose and bends the tip into your face a bit, leaving you talking kind of stuffy and congested. Its an instantaneous, shallow, pain.

Overall, I've found that this smack doesn't happen too often in Minnesota, where everyone is so... nice.

Back Handed Compliment
Now this smack is practically the Minnesota State Smack. If there were such a thing.

back handed compliment

Again work wise, it's like someone saying "you know we really appreciate your work, it's just that your department is so unnecessary" which seemingly means that they like the work you do, but don't evidently feel the need for the reason that you are part of their work environment and perhaps their success.

This kind of goes with that whole negative reinforcement thing. "Wow son, you had a great game today, now if only you hadn't let that weak goal through in the second half."

Thank you sir! May I have another!*?

Behind the Back Thrust
This is essentially a stab in the back, but instead of a sharp knife, a really blunt instrument is used. In my experience, words of some sort are usually the weapon. The behind the back thrust leaves you feeling open and vulnerable and becomes a test of your wit, your torque and your patience. This smack can be used and/or be followed up quite effectively with the poke and run or back handed compliment.

All in all, our kids are fantastic and sometimes it's actually fun to watch them bump into things and test their limits (we hope you can say that about yours as well). I am not particularly anxious for our kids to grow up and approach us that first time with their realization of the realities of human nature. I guess at that time we will tell them to take one day at a time, that they will win some and lose some, to go out there and give 110% and then or to roll with the punches.

We don't physically hit or spank our children. I guess we try to find other means of discipline for them to realize their wayward actions. We'll see how they turn out in the long run. That will be a whole other blog some day.

Until then, this is surely just the tip of the smack iceberg.